Getting Out of the Way

"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us."
-Joseph Campbell

My life has changed again. I had made plans on how it was to go here in Korea and it isn't going that way. I was very sad or at first. I had to admit that I was not that unhappy about the changes, but I was scared that I did not know what was going to happen. I still don't. It occurred to me that I need to get out of the way and let go of the old life and accept the new one whatever it is.

In the past, I had my children to support and I had my own needs to take care of. I don't have those anymore, thank heavens. Those days are over. Looking outside while it was raining today as it usually does here during the Monsoon Season, I had to admit that I was scared of the unknown. It was rough when I got here because there were people here who took things out on me regarding things that I had nothing to do with. It made life very rough as I was in a strange country surrounded by people who did not speak English. That is all over. They are out of my life for good.

I am still angry at them but I am working at detaching from all of that because there isn't anything I can do about it. It is a work of progress. I learned from it. It gets better all of the time. It has strengthen my spiritual resources. I remember a time when I was very angry at a past supervisor and wanted to say something to him and then found out he died only a few years after I last saw him. Life goes on or in his case it changed and his life is something else now. Holding grudges is never healthy especially when coming here to Korea has more positive effects than negative.

I have lost weight and am much healthier than I was when I begun this particular voyage. I do a lot of walking now. I used to have periods of depression from time to time. I rarely have them now. I had a writer's block the size of California, but I have none now. I never had friends but have a few now. I used to be poor but now I never have money problems or at least so far. I used to spend too much time watching television. I don't even own one now. I don't know what is going to happen, but I think I am up for it. When a bunch of doors don't open there will be one that will.

Surviving August

I have been surviving a hot and sweaty August, and it is thanks to my little swamp cooler. It runs on my coke bottles that I fill with water and put in the freezer and then I put one or two in the swamp cooler instead of ice water which would increase the humidity. A few times, I thought it was cool outside as it was cool inside and when I went outside to walk to the bus stop I thought I would melt. Before the cooler, I would take at least three cold showers a day. Now, things are normal as far as the showers are concerned. It is still a bit warm but I am not sweating in here but comfortable although just barely.

My utility bills remain low. The highest I have had is still under 13 dollars a month. Swamp coolers are not big energy users in the states so I assumed it should not be a problem here. I rarely use warm water except to take a shower and that is lukewarm. In Korea, one turns on the hot water and then turns it off when not in use. The same goes for gas. I rarely turn on the stove except to cook some ham now and then but not often. I did not eat ham at all today. I don't have a microwave. It does not seem worth buying.

The most important link that I have to the world is my computer and the Internet. I watch the news and a few programs now and then. I miss PBS since it cannot be broadcast outside the USA. I enjoy the Rachel Maddow Program, Countdown, The Jon Stewart Show and the BBC. I read quite a bit. I read many newspapers and listen to online radio.

I have made a few friends here and enjoy my time in a few coffee shops although getting coffee with cream or milk is a major trial. I can't drink the instant milk here as I am allergic to it. I drink most of my coffee here in my apartment since I can buy milk and I drink instant coffee which I did not think I would ever do that. But when in Rome...

I have met some Americans, Australians, New Zealanders, Irish, Britishers and of course Koreans. I also found a book store that sells books in English although I don't have much choice. I am reading young adult and some of the classics. There are several web sites that offer books one can read online without cost. I have even read some essays by authors I never thought I would such as Leo Tolstoy.

Most of the foreigners who are here are English teachers although there are exceptions and they are always looking for books in English as I am. I even bought a Bible the other day. Thank heavens for the Internet where I can read to my heart's content provided the books are not new. I can read articles from magazines online.

I used to have a writer's block but don't anymore. I think it is because if I want to read a certain kind of book I have to write it. It is fun though. I have often thought about working in a writer's colony. Now, I am living the life. I am having a great deal of fun and learning a lot.

It is hot and sweaty in Korea but August has always been my favorite month. It remains so. I am looking forward to autumn.

Humidity and Humility

I am on vacation for the month of August. I never thought any place could be as humid and as sticky and uncomfortable as it is in Korea. I keep remembering that air conditioning is a relatively new phenomena and that most places in the world did not have in the recent past. I am having a hard time with the lack of good air conditioning in my apartment. Many places in the world now do not have it at all. Korea is certainly not a third world country, but their air conditioners are not the strongest I have been in. I have learned over and over again how spoiled I was in California. I am growing more attuned to my surroundings.

Last month, I bought a second hand portable swamp cooler. Normally, one puts ice and water in it. That would make this humid climate even worse so I freeze water in small coke bottles and use them instead so there is no additional humidity in the air. Even with that, it is hard to deal with the weather but I have been surviving here in my apartment. No one in this building has air conditioning. The new apartments next door are occupied here and there and few have air conditioned units. One of the men who do such installations said that all of the companies that install them cannot keep up with the demand. No apartment comes with its own air conditioning.

The other night I came home and found my fan had broke and I had to go and buy another one. I bought a table fan which was on sale and is a much better one since I put it on the portable air conditioner.

I have been working on a book and that is going well. I have the window open now as it is 10 pm and the early morning hours are very nice as well. I wear very little in side my apartment and the landlady came by and gave me some produce from her garden which is very nice. I had to look for a robe to open the door. It was some corn, tomatoes and one melon. Food is very expensive here in Korea and many people have their own gardens.

I think I was spoiled when I came here. I was used to living in air conditioned homes, used to having my own car, used to wireless computer Internet connections and all English speaking television stations. I was used to second-hand book stores with books in English and brand new book stores with lots of choice in books. I was used to shopping for whatever I wanted in food and having a kitchen that was big enough to cook whatever I wanted. To me, this situation was normal. Now, I know it is not. I was used to cheese of whatever kind I wanted. If I needed to buy something to wear, I would go out and buy it. Not only are clothes expensive here but sizes for most Europeans are simply not available.

Still, being here has been one great adventure. I would not have missed it for the world.