Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Getting Out of the Way

"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us."
-Joseph Campbell

My life has changed again. I had made plans on how it was to go here in Korea and it isn't going that way. I was very sad or at first. I had to admit that I was not that unhappy about the changes, but I was scared that I did not know what was going to happen. I still don't. It occurred to me that I need to get out of the way and let go of the old life and accept the new one whatever it is.

In the past, I had my children to support and I had my own needs to take care of. I don't have those anymore, thank heavens. Those days are over. Looking outside while it was raining today as it usually does here during the Monsoon Season, I had to admit that I was scared of the unknown. It was rough when I got here because there were people here who took things out on me regarding things that I had nothing to do with. It made life very rough as I was in a strange country surrounded by people who did not speak English. That is all over. They are out of my life for good.

I am still angry at them but I am working at detaching from all of that because there isn't anything I can do about it. It is a work of progress. I learned from it. It gets better all of the time. It has strengthen my spiritual resources. I remember a time when I was very angry at a past supervisor and wanted to say something to him and then found out he died only a few years after I last saw him. Life goes on or in his case it changed and his life is something else now. Holding grudges is never healthy especially when coming here to Korea has more positive effects than negative.

I have lost weight and am much healthier than I was when I begun this particular voyage. I do a lot of walking now. I used to have periods of depression from time to time. I rarely have them now. I had a writer's block the size of California, but I have none now. I never had friends but have a few now. I used to be poor but now I never have money problems or at least so far. I used to spend too much time watching television. I don't even own one now. I don't know what is going to happen, but I think I am up for it. When a bunch of doors don't open there will be one that will.

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