I think I may have written in here that when I was young, there often wasn't any food to eat or food that made me sick. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. There was enough money and my father and mother ate well, but us kids often didn't have enough. I made sure there was plenty of things to eat and drink for my own children growing up although with money problems such as child support didn't always come in it was difficult but it was done. I didn't like the fact that I spent hard earned cash on apple juice so my kids would not drink the sugary drinks such as Kool Aid and then I found out years later that the juice was loaded with Alar, a chemical additive. I have since found out that apples are loaded with pesticides and I buy organic; however, my kids are all grown up now.
So, when I saw that one more thing has disappeared from the pantry, I felt the same sort of panic that I felt when younger I did not have enough food to eat. Ah, these things happen and I was not surprised to feel these emotions that morning. I did write about it in my journal, however, and that made all the difference in the world. This is a journey I need to take and that I am not facing starvation although I have dropped seven pounds since I started this. There is a difference in starvation and trying to lose weight. I just keep that in mind. Things are much healthier for me when I juice and eat the food that I do now. I feel better and I can climb steps without difficulty or pain.
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