Thursday, June 10, 2010


I had to check if I wrote about bullies. Since coming to Korea, I have had a problem with someone who is bullying me. In the past, I have had a problem with bullies and never really knew what to do with them. They tie my stomach in knots, freeze my brain so I can't really react or have no idea what to do when these individuals start in with their bullying behavior.

Bullying is an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt another person physically or mentally or both. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaviing in a certain way to gain power over onother person. As a child, my father used to bully my mother and us kids. My mother in turn bullied us. It was often physical and mental abuse. In the case of the person here in Korea, it is only mental and not physical.

This person is in the so-called chain of command and has some authority in my employment. If not, I would avoid her. I have no idea why she goes out of her way to be mean, vindictive and to lie to me. Everything this person tells me I have to be very careful about. Why am I writing about it here in my health blog? Because her yelling at me during the first few months here made me physically sick. Luckily, I had other resources such as my journal and relatives in the United States.

Things are better now in that she does not yell at me anymore, but I still have to watch what she tells me. Having my own apartment really helps in that I can close the door and shut this person out. I am learning to stand up for myself. Again, journaling is helping. Here in Korea, those who are aged and I am considered a senior citizen are supposed to be treated with respect. Many people tell you that but will drive down and street not stop for some senior citizen who is standing in the middle of the traffic and that includes the public transit system. They leave them there scared and afraid.

I have not resorted to yelling myself. I can't stop seeing her, but I can stand up for myself. The last time she yelled at me I simply said I did not understand her and left the room. Her English is very poor. I still don't understand what she is angry about. I suspect the real reason she is angry has nothing to do with me. There are things happening in her life and she needs someone to let the steam out. It is not ok for her to take things out on me. She needs to find a more appropriate way.

Being a healthier person means taking better care of myself. I won't let someone mistreat me no matter what is happening to her in her life. It also means letting go of the past and not staying angry at her past behavior but not forgetting what she is capable of. Sometimes I relax because she is treating me better that I forget she is very capable of lying and taking what is not hers. I can't forget to be on my toes and protect myself.

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