Friday, April 1, 2011

Latest Depression

I get little depressions and often I just take off to the lake. I thought I was just down because it has been raining and I have been sick. I thought I had a small reaction to some gluten that I ate although I could not figure out what it could be. I also had digestive problems.

I finally found out that it was some Frito-es that I was melting some cheese over for a meal. As soon as I stopped eating them, the symptoms went away. I have completely recovered at least the physical signs. I bought a gluten free sandwich that I knew to be gluten free and had a picnic at the lake. Still, I felt down and I started to write in my journal.

I am very lucky in that I do not have clinical depression. When I am feeling down, it is usually because I am angry about something that I don't want to admit or face. It took some writing on a few subjects before I discovered what the real issue was. I am mad at my grown up children and feel betrayed by their behavior. I knew in Korea this might happen. I knew what the answer would be. I just have to pay attention to my Spiritual Connection. I also have to just let it go. Bringing it to the surface meant I could face it and then get on with it. I have a friend who likes to say "Oh pull up your socks" when someone starts to feel sorry for themselves. I guess I was doing that. I was angry and feeling sorry for myself. What I have to do is pull up my socks and get on with life.

Even my hay fever is better as I have discovered that if I turn on the air conditioner with only the air, it really helps me breath. When I drive around town, I turn on the air conditioning in the car. I can breath so much better. One never knows how blessed it is to breath unimpeded when a problem with breathing is eliminated. I still don't know what it is that is bothering me. As I said, When I drive 20 minutes into the mountains, it is gone. I am hoping whatever it is, it will stop blooming or whatever soon. I usually have hay fever for three months out of the year and not for such a long time as this year.

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