Friday, September 11, 2009

September 11, 2009 Friday-'Medical appointment'

I saw the nurse practitioner I see for woman's health. I have been seeing her since 1989 when I moved to this area. I tried once more to see if there was anyway I could get help in losing weight, but she was truthful in that resources were even more limited than I had first thought. She took time to deal with my questions and I know she was being told not to spend that much time with her patients. Again, I know I will have to do this on my own. I just don't feel confident that I know what I am doing. It is very possible, that the current state of medicine might not have the answers that I need anyhow.

The only program that the clinic has for over-weight are a series of meetings in which 30 to 40 men gather in a small room and are led through talks by a dietitian who has already told me in front of all of those men that my chosen diet of low carbohydrates was not the way to go. I needed to count calories. When I did talk with her privately I told her that I had celiac disease and she told me that I still needed to stay on a diet of counting calories and eat a breakfast of cereal that was high in fiber. People with celiac disease cannot eat meals the same way as normal people can. She also made fun of me in front of the men which encouraged the other men to do the same. Dietitians generally do not understand the eating requirements of a gluten-free diet.

I find it very uncomfortable to be in a room full of men and to be made fun of and to be in a program that is geared for the same diet for everyone especially since men are so much different than women. Not only do I get frightened by the large number of men in the closed up room, but I am angry at the way I am treated. I see no reason for the dietitian to treat me in that way.

The nurse practitioner did mention that I will have to do a combination of diet and exercise. Obviously, I am finding it difficult to get the exercise component going. I also have a close relative who is having trouble in his life and I am being sucked into his problems. It is not his life but my own fault. I need to step back and let him find his own way and not interfere.

I am not going to say that I am not scared and that I know what I am doing. I have no idea how I am going to get healthier. I am on the list for surgery to lose weight, but there are no studies that show it would even work on me. I don't want to go through it and find out that I can't lose it. Besides, once you go through the surgery, you have to have plastic surgery to fix the folds of fat. I would rather just lose the weight normally. I have been on that list for three years and I it will be four or more years until my name comes up and then I will be too old anyway.

Knowing that there are no readers for my blog is nice right now. I have been reading the blogs of other and have been impressed by them. It gives me the freedom to say the things I have been saying. I am imagining what others might be thinking if they are reading this but glad no one is.

I bought some cookbooks today at a second hand store and will be doing more work in the kitchen next month. Right now I am eating meals that are prepared and frozen. It is like having a cook in the house. It used to be that gluten free frozen meals did not exist, but there are several that can be purchased. None of them have a lot of carbs.

I am going to weigh myself at least once a week at the clinic. I can't get my blood pressure checked that often, but I have a doctor's appointment on the 23red. I am sure I will have to take another blood sugar test. I did get a this device for measuring it, but then I got a note that said it did not work. Although I hate putting down the weight down, I will do it.

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