Monday, January 17, 2011

Getting in my skin

I got a call from my son who told me that he sent me my allowance for the week to my other son who lives in my house with me. It was early in the morning so I went out of my room and found him on the sofa and he had it in cash. I did some work in my room including a wash and then went out to eat and then sat at Barnes and Noble who has a Starbucks inside the store. I did some reading of some magazines and drank coffee. I also bought a book that had crock pot recipes after going through a bunch of them that were on sale. I wanted a book I could take in my purse so when I shop at the Redding Canned Goods, I could choose the recipe that matched whatever the store had on sale. One never knows what is in Redding Canned Goods Store.

I also bought my new phone which meant I could listen to music from Rhapsody. The phone I now have is what is called a android phone because it can do a bunch of things including connecting to the Internet. I am now subscribing to a music service as I did before I went to Korea. I had a MP3 player, but with my phone I can just hook up to Rhapsody and play the kind of music I want and listen to it with my earphones(buds) that I got in Korea. It was very pleasant.

Before I left the house to have lunch, my son said that he went out earlier to get my money because he knew I would complain if he did not have it for me. That hurt my feelings but I said nothing. I went back to my room and did some work on some stuff and drank some coffee. Then as I said I did the wash and got dressed and left. I stayed at Barnes and Noble until 6pm.

I eat one meal a day and tomorrow, I will buy a cheap meal at a good deli and eat at the park. I will do some drawing and writing in my journal and some reading. I will be going to the Redding Canned Foods Outlet on Wednesday because seniors get 10 percent off their bill and I will be buying food to make in my crock pot. That will save me more money. I will come home to work on the computer. I will be taking my crock pot cook book on Wednesday.

I wrote earlier that I have not been happy since coming home a month ago. Things have changed in that I have made up my mind to get into my skin and create my life the best way I can and not worry what any family member thinks of me. I am writing now full time and getting ready to send things out very soon. I am editing my book and getting things ready for that as well. I also checked out some books from the library and have some ideas about making money through free lancing as I used to do.

I talk with people who have similar problems and we all have different ideas on what we are going to do with our situation. I live in a good place, have plenty to wear and eat. Barnes and Noble just sent me an email that my exercise DVD will be here any day so I can exercise. I have not been doing as much as I would like since coming back. I did far more in Korea than I do here. I hate gyms and walking is not an option since there are so many loose dogs around here. One neighbor down the street shot one dog and it was in the paper. We live in the city and in a good part of town but he could not get the police to come out. He was not arrested, but I don't have a gun and would feel really awful doing something like that. It also helps that he was a county supervisor. I will just exercise here in my room.

A while back, many years ago I read a book that had a title that was "How to be Your Best Friend". That is what I am learning to be right now. I don't have to work. I live in a comfortable room with many luxuries such as two computers that includes a TV, a full bathroom, a small fridge, two coffee pots, two crock pots, a safe, stereo speakers, dresser, bookcase, a desk, a table and I still have room to exercise. I don't have to work if I don't want to. I think that is pretty nifty, but freedom is pretty important too. Being one's best friend is important and learning to live in one's skin is as well.

It's not that I am in prison and living a terrible life. Not at all. In many ways, it is a good life. Its just not my life. I will bide my time and work on improving my situation and not give up. One must believe in one's vision.

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