Thursday, January 20, 2011

Waste of money

Well, I am going to admit something I really hate to admit. If you are reading this, don't tell anyone. This whole thing of my son putting me on a budget may suck, but it has taught me one glaring fact and that I have not been paying attention to how I have been spending my money. I have been wasting it. I never even look at my balance. I just go out and buy what I need. Occasionally, I would bounce. I did not bounce in Korea because I had plenty of money and I used cash.

I still want total control of my life, but I have to admit I did not add what I had in my bank account and whether or not I could get something cheaper. I miss those days that I did not have to worry about whether I could afford to take my grandson out to a meal or not. I can afford a drink and maybe a desert but not a meal. I only have 20 dollars until Monday. Bummer. I have plenty of money, but I can't touch it because it is not an emergency. One's relationship with a grandson is not an emergency. Putting bars in the shower to keep one from falling is not an emergency. Getting food when one runs out is not emergency because it is one's fault. And on it goes.

I have never been good in managing money because I went from having no money to having some or some other reason. I am learning to be more mindful in looking at my funds and I am looking at my money in a different light. There is a advantage to everything that is happening, but as I said I still want my freedom.

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