Sunday, January 16, 2011

Something troubling me

I have been back in the USA for about a month and to be honest, I have been unhappy. I have been running into one batch of problems after another.Today, I went out to breakfast at Homestyle Buffet by myself and then grabbed a cup of coffee at Starbucks and headed out to Whiskeytown Lake to do some writing in my journal and to find out what the problem was.

When I came back from Korea, my family expected me to return to the same situation I was in before, but I can't. I have changed. They have put the clamps down on my freedom and one of my sons has the power to make some changes that I don't like. Senior citizens don't have as much rights as one would think they do. No one is taking anything away from me. He is monitoring my expenses and not my movements or purchases. Still, I don't like it.

I am not going to be able to change things in the near future, but I can see making some changes sometime. I can see how it will be done. It will take time. What I did not expect was my unwillingness to believe that I could do it. I wanted to give up and just stay in my room in my house and just be the person I was before I left for Korea. It occurred to me that I had a choice and that I could continue and slowly wither away or believe in my vision and continue what I started in 2010 and go forward. I may be 66 years old but I am not dead yet. The reason I have a healthy retirement is that I worked hard and I can continue to believe in myself. Life is not over for me yet.

Many seniors are cheated and I am not in that position for no one is taking anything away from me. My checks are being protected and my house is cared for. No one is harming me or telling me where I can go and what I can do. I am just not really to give up any of my freedoms just yet. Maybe, I might have to someday but not now.

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