Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Phone Call

I got a phone call from my son yesterday. He wanted to know if I paid my other son cat support. I said I did not have the money, but I was hopeful next month. He said that if I did not pay the cat support he would recommend that my younger son get rid of the cats by taking them to the pound. It was no joke. He meant it. My younger son would never do it. He is rather fond of the cats and even created Facebook accounts for each of them. My younger son said if I bought cat food then that would be fine. When he gave me a quote for cat support, it included my cell phone bill.

I have plenty of money but it is in savings which my oldest son says I cannot touch as it is for emergency only. Christmas gifts, cat support, the Internet, computers, all that I consider important are not emergencies. It would not be medical bills for all of my medical bills are taken care of. Food is not an emergency either. My ex-husband came to my house while I was gone and gutted my house and left a pile of trash in my yard. My oldest son is willing to consider it a emergency to get rid of yet, but not yet. My youngest is slowly getting it towed away.

When I first came in from Korea, I had no blankets, sheets(it is part of the trash in the yard) and very little clothes. I also got my driver's license renewed. That was not an emergency. I finally have enough. But I took the money from the savings without asking my oldest son which is why I cannot touch my bank accounts now. I spent about 200 dollars. That is the bad effects.

However, there is a good side to this. When a relative decided that he would borrow some money from me and take his time paying me back, if ever, my oldest son said he was filing a police report. The money got paid back and I learned a valuable lesson in not lending money out to relatives.

I was trying to buy a blanket so I could get my old zebra blanket back by trade. When my oldest son found out, he just ordered me to go to who had my zebra blanket and demand it back or else. I got it back within minutes. I am learning to grow a backbone. When I see things in my house that is mine, I claim it. I am learning not to let people talk me out of things.

I gave people things if they said they needed it. I am learning that this is enabling and the worst thing I can do is to give people what they want. People need to learn to take care of themselves even teenagers. I know when I needed something when I was growing up and I earned the money for it, I felt a great deal of pride in myself.

As in many things, there is a positive side as well as a negative one. I am still trying to take total control over my life. In the meantime, I am learning some valuable lessons that I really need to learn.

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